Micro-Cheating: What It Is and How to Address It

Have you heard about micro cheating?

Micro cheating is when someone engages in subtle actions that demonstrate interest in someone outside the relationship. It is crucial as it means crossing an emotional boundary or the physical one. Navigating infidelity and feelings around it can be challenging as when it comes to micro cheating. You can also wonder whether you are misreading the situation and overreacting to something innocent. 

What exactly is micro cheating?

Some of the examples of behaviors that will be considered as micro cheating:

1) Digital interactions: Sending coy text messages or engaging in social media interactions like liking or commenting on someone’s post.

2) Flirtatious Behaviour: Engaging in suggestive conversations, eye contact or body language with someone outside the relationship.

3) Gifts: Receiving or Giving gifts with romantic connotations.

4) Compliments: Giving someone special attention and compliments.

5) Intimacy: Sharing intimate feelings, desires ,thoughts or confessions with someone outside of the relationship 

6) Physical Contact: Hugging, Touching or engaging in other forms of physical contact that seem inappropriate.

7) Fantasies: Fantasizing about someone outside of the relationship.

8) Dating Profiles: Keeping one’s options open by maintaining active profiles on dating apps suggesting availability.

It’s crucial to note that the definition of micro cheating will vary with every relationship. Everyone has varying levels of comfort with how close their partner gets to the other people. Behaviors that seem innocent or harmless to some people will feel like a particular breach of trust to others.

What to do if your partner is Micro-Cheating?

These are some tactics that will help you in coping and if you think that your partner may be micro-cheating.

1) Do Not React Emotionally

If you think your partner is micro cheating then it is natural to feel angry, upset, insecure or even ashamed. Sometimes it really is micro cheating whereas other times may simply be jealous at the fact that your partner is forming close connections with others. Let’s discuss it with your partner when you are ready.

2) Discuss Issue With your Partner

The initial step to have this conversation with your partner is to create a safe space. Also, she recommends setting up the rules for how to handle the potential conflict and how you want to speak to each other and be heard. Also, have an honest discussion with your partner about your concern. Explain how their actions made you feel and why you consider them a violation of your boundaries. Listen to their side of the story.

3) Define the Boundaries of the Relationship

Once you’ve told your partner why you are upset and have heard their side of the story, do work with them to redefine the boundaries of your relationship. Also, decide what is acceptable and what isn’t for each of you. Also, you can also decide that you want to maintain a monogamous relationship and intimate physical contact with your partner. Or you may be intrigued at the idea of opening up your relationship and decide to try out a monogamies arrangement, where you can explore interactions with other people based on certain boundaries.

4) Your relationship cannot survive without Boundaries 

Micro-cheating does not necessarily mean that your relationship is over. However, it means that partners must take responsibility, make amends and work on rebuilding communication with each other. However, partners should take responsibility and make amends and work on rebuilding and communication with each other. Taking accountability for ourselves and our emotions can both lead to both forgiveness and deeper intimacy, connection in the relationship.

Taking accountability for ourselves and our emotions helps in improving our relationships that will lead to deeper connection and satisfaction in the relationship.

5) Seek Therapy

If you are dealing with infidelity then it can be difficult. If you need help processing your feelings around the situation then it can be helpful to seek out therapy from mental health. If you are not comfortable discussing it with your loved ones then couples therapy will help you and your partner to address conflicts in a neutral environment.

6) They are always stay active on a dating app

When you are in a committed relationship then there is no point in being active on a dating app or site. Even though when someone has uninstalled the app from the mobile, their profile does exist if it has not been deleted. If they have a profile that has been inactive for a while, they may have honestly forgotten to delete it. But if they have been active on the site, interacting with people is considered as an act of disloyalty that is also considered as micro-cheating.

7) They get defensive

When a person is hiding something, they get defensive. If you ask your partner about something and they get fussy about it for no reason and it raises suspicions of possible deception. If they repeatedly make excuses instead of telling you the truth, there may be a secret that they are trying to hide from you.

8) They always on the Phone

Does your significant other always carry a phone wherever they go, even when you two are together on an outing or a date?

If yes, then you may want to ask them why they are so secretive. If you find them smiling at home and chatting up, then there is a chance that they are micro-cheating which is a red flag in a relationship.

9) They are too close to someone else

If your partner has a best friend or someone with whom they share a close bond. But there is a thin line between being close and being super close to someone outside the relationship. They give them more importance than they give you. Also, they may share sensitive personal information that no one outside you and your partner should know with this person. This could seem ambiguous to some extent and could be a sign of micro-cheating. Between your partner and their best friend may be an increasing frequency of gifting or meeting for an unspecified reason. Moreover, this friend also possesses information about the intimate aspects of your relationship.  

10) They say that you are overreacting

You may overthink things at times but when it happens a lot of times, then you should not overlook it. If you ask your partner about the things and they say that you are imagining things and overreacting when you are not then this can be a great concern. If such situations like this keep happening in your life then it can be a sign of micro-cheating. 

11) They begin losing interest from the relationship

If your loved one is distancing from you and you sense it, it can mean that they are trying to move away from you. They don’t spend quality time with you, don’t seem to share anything as they did before and try to maintain a casual relationship. These signs of emotional and physical withdrawal can mean that they are micro-cheating on you. 

12) They do not pay attention

It is not possible for anyone to focus their full attention on you every time. But if your partner has been particularly inattentive and distracted of late then this can be a sign of micro-cheating. Moreover, this inattentiveness can be caused by other factors like pressure, personal issues or mental fatigue. So, do try to find out the reason before assuming anything.

13) They are being secretive

Your partner is being secretive about his whereabouts or about people he is talking with. He does not speak much about his office friends and colleagues and spends a lot of time away from home under the grab of office work or hanging out with friends. However, more subtle signs also include passing off things as a surprise for you. Take note of such events to trace the pattern as they can be signs of micro-cheating. 

Do Micro-heating Harm the Relationship?

Communication and Honesty are two crucial aspects to keep behaviors of micro-cheating in check. Micro-cheating is not always as cheating or infidelity, it may also take your relationship in a direction of damage as it can be the initial step to cheating. Micro-cheating can cause your trust to erode over time. If your feelings regarding micro-cheating then remain unresolved for long it can also ruin your relationship permanently. Partners involved in micro cheating do not necessarily intend to break up but they might become vulnerable on the go. In case of any doubts, it is better to address them quickly, before things go out of hand.