Closure: Do You Really Need It After a Relationship Ends

Getting closure after a breakup is one of the difficult things to deal with when the relationship ends. Some of the questions that you are left with are. Like why they suddenly lose feelings and why they don't want to try to work things out. It can feel like you need answers to get closure- so that you can move on and feel fine again.  Understanding what closure is in a relationship will help you and the other person move forward. It improves mental wellness and promotes healing and you can take steps to give closure. Most of the relationships end due to confusion and complex feelings. When you get closure in a relationship then you can release negative emotions and focus on growth and healing.

How to deal with Breakups?

Breakups are difficult and it is rare to come out of a relationship where none of the individuals feel good about it. Even if you are the one who is going to do the breakup there must be difficult feelings that are involved like guilt, fear, sadness, and anger and when you are on the receiving end then it is not uncommon for these feelings to be amplified especially if you didn’t know the breakup is coming and when we are struggling with the breakup we just want the pain to go all away. We seek the answers for what happened and we look for the evidence of what went wrong or the signs that will evolve. So, we crave for closure.

What is Closure?

It is convenient to escape the pain of the breakup with closure and closure does not necessarily mean that we don’t feel disappointed or sad that the relationship has run its course. Rather, closure means that we know and accept that the relationship is over and we can leave it in the past and will move on with our lives. 

Closure may look different from person to person and it is simpler to explain what closure is not other than what closure is. Closure simply means that we are no longer preoccupied with the thoughts of the relationship or the breakup. Coming into a relationship and breaking hearts are difficult things. 

Closure simply does not mean that you are ready to meet someone else. But we can have closure and enable ourselves a period to be alone if we are doing it for ourselves. It’s not like that you will never find love again. Eventually, you will find it. Moreover, closure frees us from the emotional pain of the relationship, enables us to learn more about what we require in a future relationship, and brings us closer to finding the right person for us.

Giving Closure When Ending a Relationship 

It is crucial to give someone else closure in a breakup as we don’t know how the other person will take the breakup. They might still look for the answers and put blame on you and even hold  a little hope too that you will come back. Moreover, it is helpful for everyone to try to give some closure in a breakup and no matter whatever the reason is. 

Whether you are conflicted about the relationship ending and cannot get out of the relationship fast enough then closure will help free you from the emotional attachment of the relationship and it ensures that you both will be able to move into different directions. It is tougher to  try to give someone closure in a breakup because we can’t know how the other person will take this breakup. Whether you are conflicted about the relationship ending or cannot get out of the relationship faster enough and it will ensure that you both will be able to move in different directions.

It is difficult to try to give your heart to someone else again and we can’t know how the other person will feel or take the breakup. They will still search for the answers, blame you or themselves or hold out hope. Moreover, it is helpful for everyone to try and to give some closure in a breakup, no matter whatever the reason for the breakup is. Either you are conflicted about the relationship and it will ensure you that both are able to move in the right direction.

Different ways to help in bringing someone else closer to closure at the time of the breakup 

Be precisely clear that the relationship is completely over. Do not try to soften the blow by throwing in temporary time frames that will leave the possibility of a future reconciliation.

Provide a reason for the breakup but try to avoid blame in each direction. 

Blaming a partner will lead to them asking questions about themselves and what they could have done differently. Instead of blaming, be clear that you just are not a good fit for one another and it will not work out. 

Do not ask or offer to remain friends. This is not fair to either party especially if you were not friends before the relationship. Should you bump into each other one day down the road and decide to have a friendship that is one thing but it is also crucial to remove the contact number and from the social media as well. 

How to deal with Closure

We are not always given sufficient closure in relationships and often it is needed to find it within yourself. To  do this, it is crucial to be clear about what it means and to have a closure we do not have to  know, agree with, understand or accept the fact that the relationship is permanently over and leave it in the past. Leaving the relationship in the past is often the part where we struggle when we are trying to find closure for ourselves. When we get caught up in trying to figure out answers or believing that we will not find closure until we are preventing ourselves from finding closure. These beliefs keep the relationship  very active in our minds and keep us feeling stuck. 

Tactics for Finding Closure

Cut ties with ex and do not remain friends. Do not meet up for any reasons. Do not reach out for the questions or to get the answers. Unfollow on social media.

Fill your time with things you love doing and make plans with friends, take up a new hobby and learn something new and find some new TV shows to discover.

Allow yourself time to feel bad and accept the breakups are hard and give yourself the space to feel that rather than fighting it. 

Make your home comfortable as possible and since you will initially find yourself spending more time at home and treat it like a sanctuary. Get rid of the reminders of your ex and bring in the small things which will make you smile and feel good about yourself. 

Reach out to your friends and family when you need to share your feelings and have them also hold you accountable for any self-sabotaging behaviors that prolong closure

How to give closure in a relationship

If you are someone who is too emotional to get your heart broken or break someone's heart then the other person will need closure to protect their emotional well-being. There are some of the ways that will closure that are:

Be respectful and Kind

When speaking to your ex, being kind and respectful will make it simpler for them to find closure. Instead of  leaving them with accusations, negativity and insults will give them another scenario to create a scene of blaming you.

Setting up a time to meet

Reach out to the other person to set up a time to talk will ensure that you won’t leave them without any answers. Also, it will prevent them from showing up or reaching out at inopportune times. If you are uncomfortable meeting a person then consider talking on the phone or writing emails.

Set Boundaries

Sometimes, you will want to clarify that you don’t need them to contact you often. Other times, setting boundaries like not following one relationship on social media or showing up where they know they will be. It will also make sure that they know that the relationship has run its course and it's time to move on.